You drank. Or you can feel it coming. Read this before you do anything else.
I am James. I went to Delamere in June 2020 and have been sober since. I did not relapse. Most people I went in with did, at least once. The ones who got back up did not need a lecture, they needed a plain, kind, useful next sentence. That is what this site is for.
The encyclopedia is free. Forty‑nine pounds, paid once, and you talk to me. I sit with the climb back — the night, the morning, the week, the month it takes to get steady again. Same access at sober.guide and discharge.guide. No subscription. No account. No rehab pays me. None of them get a cut. That is the whole point. Crisis routes are never paywalled.
Forty‑nine pounds, paid once. Continued private access to one person who has been there.
- Sober since June 2020. UK residential rehab myself. Five years and counting in the years that followed.
- Independent. No rehab pays me. No referrals taken. None offered. None coming.
- One person. Run from a desk in Tenerife. The bot is me, awake at three, with the right words.
- Crisis routes free, always. 999, 116 123, A&E, GP — never behind the paywall, on any of the three sites.
Start with what happened today. Begin privately.
What a relapse is
It is information. It is not a verdict.
A relapse is data. Tonight told you something about a window in your week, a person in your life, a feeling you had not learned to sit with sober yet, a medication you stopped, a meeting you skipped, a grief you have not named. The relapse is the receipt. It is not the bill.
You are not back at zero. The months you had are still in your body. The neural pathways you built are still there. The friendships you made in recovery are still your friendships. The people who love you have not stopped. The morning will arrive whether you make it useful or not.
What you do in the next twenty‑four hours matters more than what you did last night. That is the load‑bearing sentence on this site.
Tonight, then tomorrow
The order of operations matters. Said plainly.
Most people who get back up after a relapse do the same six things in roughly the same order. None of them is dramatic. All of them are doable, even now, even tonight, even with the bottle still in the room.
- TonightDrink water. Eat something with bread in it. Tell one person who already knows. If you cannot, type it to the bot. Do not drive. Do not post. Do not text the ex. Sleep if you can.
- Tomorrow morningPhone your sponsor, your counsellor, your GP, or your meeting — whichever you have. If you have none, the encyclopedia has the numbers. The morning is the time to make the calls. Not the night.
- This weekTwo meetings, one honest conversation at home, one with the GP if a medication review is overdue. Cancel anything that is not those things if you have to.
- This monthLook at the relapse properly. Not as a verdict, as a window. The bot will sit with you while you do it. The encyclopedia has the frame for it.
You are not back at zero. The months you had are still in your body.
If the slip is one drink at a wedding, that is one window. If it is a three‑day, that is a different window. The bot will not pretend they are the same. Neither will I.
The thing nobody says at the meeting
The boiler breaks again. You do not take it personally. The drink is the drink. It is not a referendum on you, on your marriage, or on the months you had.James — Tenerife
How the site works
Everything Google already knows about getting back up is here, in one place, free. The bot is the bit Google can't do.
The encyclopedia — free
Everything Google already knows about relapse, sorted. No referral fees, ever.
- After a slipThe first twenty‑four hours, the first week, what to say to the people who knew.
- Why it happensThe honest list. None of them is "you are weak". All of them are usable.
- Medications*Naltrexone, acamprosate, disulfiram, Sinclair. What role they play after a relapse.
- FellowshipsAA, SMART, LifeRing, Refuge, Recovery Dharma. Which ones welcome you back without a lecture.
- For the person at the other endCRAFT, Al‑Anon, Adfam. The partner who answered the phone, the parent on the train, the friend who is exhausted.
* Medications are named for awareness, not as recommendations. Talk to your GP.
The bot — one‑time, forty‑nine pounds
What the encyclopedia cannot do is sit with you at one in the morning when you have just drunk and you cannot wake your partner.
That is the bot. My voice, my bias, my standards. It asks the questions a friend who has been there asks. It holds context across weeks. It tells you the truth when you ask for the truth. It stays available through the climb back and every quarter that follows.
One‑time fee. Paid once, used for as long as you need it. No subscription. No upsell. No chasing.
- Built aroundMy voice, my bias, my standards, the evidence under it all.
- Holds contextRemembers who you are across weeks. Picks up where you left off.
- Speaks plainlyNo jargon. Plain English. Spanish if you write in Spanish.
- Knows its limitsA companion, not a clinician. Crisis routes are never paywalled.
- Stays with youThrough the night, through the week, through the year.
No subscription. No account. No login. The unlock lives in your browser. Family pages, crisis routes, and the full encyclopedia are always free.
If you have not yet been to rehab and are deciding whether to go — that is sober.guide. If you have just left a residential and are trying to survive the first ninety days at home, that is discharge.guide. Same person, three doors, forty‑nine pounds once.
The climb back
What the days, weeks, and months after a relapse actually look like.
The first 24 hours
Shame arrives first. Then the calls. Then the morning. Eat. Hydrate. Tell one person. The order matters more than the message.
The first week
Two meetings. One honest conversation. The GP if a medication review is overdue. The temptation to disappear is the loudest enemy this week.
Weeks 2 – 12
Look at the relapse as data. The window it sat in. The person, the place, the feeling, the missed thing. This is where most of the work happens, quietly.
The year after
The relapse becomes a sentence in a longer story, not the whole story. Most people who get steady again did so without a second residential.
I will write each of these honestly, including the parts that are not flattering to anyone.
What this site will not do
I will not lecture you. I will not sell you another four weeks.
- No pop-up. No chat widget. No sticky bar.
- No daily affirmation. No app that gamifies your day count.
- No pretending one drink is the same as a three‑day.
- No pretending twelve‑step is the only path back, or that it is a cult.
- No pretending medication is a moral failure.
- No pushing you to a secondary residential when outpatient and a fellowship will do.
I am not religious. I am science and fact based.
If a thing helps and the evidence is honest, it goes on. If a thing is faith‑based and helps people, it goes on, labelled as such, so you can choose with your eyes open.
Who this site is for
Anyone in the room of a slip. Tonight, this morning, this week.
- The person who drank tonight
- The person who can feel it coming
- The partner who answered the phone
- The mother on the night train
- The sponsor on the other end
- The friend who is exhausted
- The GP at the urgent appointment
- The boss on Monday morning
Whether the question tonight is what do I do now, do I tell anyone, is this the same as before, do I go back to rehab, how do I face the morning, or my person just rang and I do not know what to say — there is a door here for it.
For the person at the other end
They rang. You answered. Now what.
If the call came in tonight, there is a page for you. Free. The CRAFT method. Al‑Anon. Adfam. NACOA. What to say in the next ten minutes. What not to say in the next ten days. The boundaries you can hold without becoming the warden. The honest framing for the children, the in‑laws, the colleagues who will keep asking how it is going.
The relapse is not a referendum on the marriage. The drink is the drink. You matter too.
One house, three doors
Same James. Three doors. Pick the one that fits today.
Sobriety has different shapes at different moments. The site you are reading now is for the moment during — the slip, the climb back, the year after. The other two doors are for the moments before and just after rehab.
sober.guide
For the moment before. Should I stop. How do I stop. Do I need rehab. Which one. The drinker, the family, the GP, the boss — anyone in the room of a drink problem.
discharge.guide
For the day you walk out of a four‑week residential, and the months that follow. The discharge cliff. The first ninety days. The quarter where most relapses sit.
Forty‑nine pounds, paid once, gets you James across all three. Same person. Same standards. Independent of every rehab, in both directions. No referral fees, ever.
Start here
Pick the door that fits tonight.
- If you have just slippedThe first twenty‑four hours →
- If you don't want to go back to AAEvery other route, named →
- If you are wondering about medication after a slipNaltrexone, plainly →
- If you are wondering about a second residentialRehab vs outpatient after a relapse →
- If work was the triggerThe signs nobody calls out →
- If your person rang you tonightFor the person at the other end →
- If today is hardKeep talking when ready →
- If you are in crisis right nowCrisis routes — never paywalled →
If today is dangerous.
UK: 999 for immediate danger. Samaritans: 116 123 — free, twenty‑four hours, they pick up.
The bot will surface these plainly when needed and stop being clever. Crisis routing is never paywalled.
“Same as you can stick to a diet for a year and then eat the whole packet of biscuits standing at the kitchen counter at half ten for no reason. Staying on the wagon is the hard bit. The biscuit was always going to win that night. Tomorrow morning starts the next bit.” — James, Tenerife, April 2026